Animals I hate.

Feeling lonely and want to chat? That's your place to go then. Can't be off-topic enough to not be posted here.

Moderator: Wizards

Message
Author
User avatar
Rudolpho
Professional
Posts: 83
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:19 am
Location: Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Animals I hate.

#1 Post by Rudolpho » Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:53 am

As far as I'm concerned all animals fall into one of three categories: pet, pest, and tasty. In my book, "pet" consists of dogs and rabbits. "Tasty" is of course those animals delicious enough to be otherwise tolerated, like cows and ducks and so forth. Most animals are "pests." I just attempted to take my dog for a walk when I stopped dead in my tracks not ten feet from my door. Sitting on the corner of my neighbor's fence, not even five yards away, was a disgusting white-faced, bald-tailed opossum. My dog, oblivious of the thing, stopped to take a whiz on the fence while that eerie creature sat motionless, staring me dead in the eye. I stomped a few times towards it under the assumption it would frighten it and it would scamper off. This did not happen. No, it was I that was thoroughly creeped out by that satanic looking beast, and I quickly scampered on my own back in the house just as soon as the dog was finished. I stood there and watched it through the window for a while as it remained on the fence and chewed on its own ass. These things are far worse than even raccoons and rats (both of which I also cannot stand) because these things look like pure unadulterated evil. My skin is still crawling at the thought of that damn opossum. Just thought I'd share.

User avatar
Eluriel
Master
Posts: 195
Joined: Thu Jan 13, 2011 7:40 pm

Re: Animals I hate.

#2 Post by Eluriel » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:46 am

Image

Blizt
Hero
Posts: 263
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:14 pm
Location: Tennessee

Re: Animals I hate.

#3 Post by Blizt » Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:53 am

Can't be my neighbors "cat".

It has a collar, and it is housebroken. It uses her kitchen sink.

Just for clarification, my neighbors "cat" is an oppossum.

User avatar
Rudolpho
Professional
Posts: 83
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:19 am
Location: Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Re: Animals I hate.

#4 Post by Rudolpho » Sat Feb 18, 2012 7:46 am

If your neighbor knowingly and willingly allows a opossum to run loose in the house, she is either a demoniac, or a worshipper of all things satanic.

Blizt
Hero
Posts: 263
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:14 pm
Location: Tennessee

Re: Animals I hate.

#5 Post by Blizt » Sat Feb 18, 2012 7:53 am

Rudolpho wrote:If your neighbor knowingly and willingly allows a opossum to run loose in the house, she is either a demoniac, or a worshipper of all things satanic.
It seems like you know her personally.

The opossums name is "Woodrow the woodrat"

I am not joking about this, I am serious.

User avatar
luminier
Overlord
Posts: 2732
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:40 pm
Location: Manitoba Canada

Re: Animals I hate.

#6 Post by luminier » Sat Feb 18, 2012 2:20 pm

there are some animals that just are not meant to be pets. what ever happened to haivng a fucken dog as a pet. im with you rudy.
The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

Eleassa
Professional
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2010 10:42 am
Location: A village on the edge of nowhere, Maine, USA

Re: Animals I hate.

#7 Post by Eleassa » Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:05 am

Hey, I love my pet rats. They're clean, quiet, intelligent, and very affectionate. They also sleep when I sleep. No getting up at 2 am to take them outside in the rain so they can do their business. No decapitated 'kills' left on my bed (or worse, still living, traumatized catches). No need to have them vaccinated yearly. The only down side is that rats only live 2-3 years.
Two rules to live by:
Don't sweat the petty stuff.
Don't pet the sweaty stuff.

A third rule to live by:
Don't do ANYTHING you don't want to admit and/or explain to a paramedic

Skragna
Champion
Posts: 592
Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:48 am

Re: Animals I hate.

#8 Post by Skragna » Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:46 am

I miss my pet iguana Scooter. And my dad's old Burmese pythons. And the armadillo my cousin owned.

User avatar
luminier
Overlord
Posts: 2732
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:40 pm
Location: Manitoba Canada

Re: Animals I hate.

#9 Post by luminier » Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:10 am

I rest my case. Americans are insane.
The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

User avatar
Rudolpho
Professional
Posts: 83
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:19 am
Location: Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Re: Animals I hate.

#10 Post by Rudolpho » Sun Feb 19, 2012 8:49 am

First off, I've seen Atom Egoyan movies; Canadians can be insane too. I'm as American as gun ownership and apple pie, and like I said, pets consist only of dog and rabbit. Nothing else. Dogs were specifically created solely to be pets. (A fact that should be placed in all intelligent design textbooks if it isn't already.) Everything Eleassa said about her rats can also be said of the rabbits I've owned in the past with the added benefit that they don't drag their disproportionately sized testicles across every horizontal surface as rats do; furthermore, they also live longer and should you get tired of them, there's always stew.

Post Script: Another downside to rats... the dreaded phenomenon called a "rat king". :shock:

User avatar
Allurana
Hero
Posts: 314
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2012 3:05 pm

Re: Animals I hate.

#11 Post by Allurana » Mon Feb 20, 2012 8:56 am

I used to absolutely hate opossums and consider them disgusting, too, but after a while of having a pair of them wandering about the yard, I've kind of grown used to them. Even named them Skitter and Slink. They're kind of cute if you overlook the fact that they're not.

Used to have four wild foxes for pets too. Named 'em Socks, Pup, Trot, and Mo. They used to follow me around the yard like puppies, and would wait by the back door in the mornings and evenings to be fed, which I could do by hand. Unfortunately a hunter killed them for their furs a few months ago. I miss them greatly.

Then there was Foxbane, a little black fluffy cat about one half the size of a normal housecat. Despite his misleadingly tiny size, he would aggressively chase after and terrorize the foxes at every opportunity with unparalleled ardor and, amusingly enough, they were intimidated by him. Friendliest thing ever to people though. I don't know where he is nowadays, though I know he outlived the foxes. I'm figuring that he ventured off to liberate new lands after the fox presence here was eradicated.

Skragna
Champion
Posts: 592
Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:48 am

Re: Animals I hate.

#12 Post by Skragna » Mon Feb 20, 2012 2:14 pm

I have always wanted a pet fox...

Eleassa
Professional
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2010 10:42 am
Location: A village on the edge of nowhere, Maine, USA

Re: Animals I hate.

#13 Post by Eleassa » Mon Feb 20, 2012 11:48 pm

Rudolpho wrote: drag their disproportionately sized testicles across every horizontal surface
Easy fix there. All my males are neutered. Cuts down on aggression, scent marking, and oily 'buck grease' down their backs. I usually get the females fixed too, though one girl I have is still intact because she was already at least a year and a half old when I adopted her. She's getting tumors, which happens to unspayed females.
Two rules to live by:
Don't sweat the petty stuff.
Don't pet the sweaty stuff.

A third rule to live by:
Don't do ANYTHING you don't want to admit and/or explain to a paramedic

Orodreth
Journeyman
Posts: 73
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2011 9:54 pm

Re: Animals I hate.

#14 Post by Orodreth » Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:57 pm

Dogs are the only truly acceptable pets.

Blizt
Hero
Posts: 263
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2005 12:14 pm
Location: Tennessee

Re: Animals I hate.

#15 Post by Blizt » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:35 am

I want a pet sasquatch.

User avatar
Rudolpho
Professional
Posts: 83
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2011 4:19 am
Location: Memphis, Tennessee, USA

Re: Animals I hate.

#16 Post by Rudolpho » Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:48 pm

Well, we can all dream of a world where experts have successfully domesticated the North American sasquatch.... alas, for now, we may only appreciate them in the wild.

Skragna
Champion
Posts: 592
Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:48 am

Re: Animals I hate.

#17 Post by Skragna » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:05 pm

I want a pet fox. They're soft, cuddly, warm, and cute as a button.

Course, I also want a pet Burmese python.

User avatar
luminier
Overlord
Posts: 2732
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2007 11:40 pm
Location: Manitoba Canada

Re: Animals I hate.

#18 Post by luminier » Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:26 pm

I bet you want a pet pony too right?
The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.

User avatar
glasp
Professional
Posts: 84
Joined: Sun Sep 26, 2010 6:55 am

Re: Animals I hate.

#19 Post by glasp » Thu Feb 23, 2012 2:21 pm

Orodreth wrote:Dogs are the only truly acceptable pets.
What's wrong with humans? :twisted:

Skragna
Champion
Posts: 592
Joined: Wed Sep 23, 2009 5:48 am

Re: Animals I hate.

#20 Post by Skragna » Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:03 pm

Luminier, no, I don't want a pet pony. I want to /BE/ a pony living in Equestria. There's a difference.

(preferably a pegasus pony)

Post Reply